"Most people are together just so they are not alone. But some people want magic. I think you are one of those people."
I think I should preface this with I am eternally single. I should also stress that I don’t mean this in a "cry and eat ice cream while I watch The Notebook" kind of way but in a "I have a good time with my friends and family; I am still trying to figure it out" kind of way. Still I can't dodge this question, "Don’t you want to meet someone nice? do you always want to be single?" and the answer to this, at the moment is actually I do.
My friend recently brought up the idea of Tinder, she just started using it and has a good experience so far. While speaking about her date she kept stressing to me how fun it was and how she saw so many people on there that were "my type." Now this happens every once in a while in my friendships, friends start to get worried, for lack of a better word, about my lack of romantic love. As most of them put it, "they just want me to be happy." How people view me and my lack of relationships is not foreign to me. I am aware that it can seem strange for a women my age to just not want to date.
If you subscribe to archaic stereotypes about single women you probably think I am pushing spinster status. I am a 30 year old, chubby woman who currently has no love prospects. This might seem sad to the casual reader who isn't familiar with me but the reality of it is that it's really not. I think the biggest misconception of someone who is not in a relationship is that they are lonely or feel unloved which is the opposite of how I really feel. I am constantly surrounded by people who love and care for me. A romantic relationship is not always the healthiest thing for someone if they are not ready to be in one. I like to say I know what I am and I know what I’m not and at the moment I just don’t feel like I can give that much of myself to anyone.
If you subscribe to archaic stereotypes about single women you probably think I am pushing spinster status. I am a 30 year old, chubby woman who currently has no love prospects. This might seem sad to the casual reader who isn't familiar with me but the reality of it is that it's really not. I think the biggest misconception of someone who is not in a relationship is that they are lonely or feel unloved which is the opposite of how I really feel. I am constantly surrounded by people who love and care for me. A romantic relationship is not always the healthiest thing for someone if they are not ready to be in one. I like to say I know what I am and I know what I’m not and at the moment I just don’t feel like I can give that much of myself to anyone.
Society tends to congratulate those in relationships acting like they have won the life lottery. Not to demean any of
my friends who are in relationships because being in love and finding someone
you can spend your time with is amazing but why is it assumed that it should be
my only goal? Still I get it, it's weird for people to just not want to date, the thing is that it's not that weird for me. Since I was little I have never been the kid dreaming of planning her wedding and coming up with future names for my hypothetical babies. I lament more the fact that I haven't been to Europe than not being able to call someone my boyfriend/fiance/husband. It's not that I don't want those things per say, but it just doesn't feel like something I want RIGHT NOW. I am a big believer in things happen for a reason and I just believe that when it does happen for me it will happen organically. Not to say that those sites (Ok Cupid, E Harmony, Tinder) can't work for someone but I fail to see how they will work for me. I have promised my friend that I will give it a try, not right now but soon. All in the name of love right? Who knows in a few months I can be writing a different kind of post, hopefully I'd have at least made it to Europe by then.
No comments:
Post a Comment