Monday, December 30, 2013

The Fear Of A New Year

This is not a best of 2013 list, or a manifesto about how 2014 is “going to be my year.” Not to knock any of that but I think so often we try to pretend that the New Year is a clean slate that once the year is over we don’t have to look back. “Thank god this year is over” we say, “Can’t wait to start fresh.”  This year I am looking at it a little differently.






I so often fall victim to the "New Year" hype. Making resolutions and going on diets; Re-organizing my life for two weeks and then nothing.  The truth is that change cannot only happen once a year but I guess the New Year is the best time as any to gauge progress. In the last year I turned 30 and that is about the most “monumental” thing that happened to me. Even then it was anti-climatic as nothing about my life really changed. 2013 was not a bad year but it wasn't a great year either. It was a year that came and went but I believe it has been one of the most essential years of my life.


So what can I say I accomplished in the last year? If anything I can say that my point of view has changed. I am not known for being the most positive person but this year I made sure that I looked for the silver lining in every bad situation. It was difficult at first and then eventually it became the only way to look at things.  Not to say that there were not days were I would lie on my roommate’s floor and cry, those happened too. I just think that I was better equipped to deal with those, whether it’s age, experience or just a need for a change of attitude. In 2013 I learned how to deal with my emotions a little better.

I got a new job but have yet to acquire a career in fact that is kind of where I look at 2014 with those “new year, new slate” rose colored glasses;  A year to hopefully start carving out a name for myself in this world. I think the first thing to admit here is that I am scared, terrified really of the future. I do not doubt my ability to get stuff done, or be motivated but so much of life is what we put into it and I think at the moment I am just scared that if I try at something I will fail.

So in 2014 instead of making a resolution that can be accomplished in a years’ time I am going to start the beginning steps on battling fear, a fear that has plagued me for the past few years.  A fear that is present in every aspect of my life from my work life to my friendships. Recently I have become something of a hermit, rarely leaving my apartment having to be probed to make plans. It’s not that I don’t like the people that I have in my life but even worse I enjoy spending time with my friends but there is always a need to mentally prepare to do so. Social situations give me something that I would liken to social anxiety, since I have never been diagnosed I can’t say that is the exact issue but sometimes the idea of being in social situations does cause me to panic. I don’t know what it is, and when it started but the idea of spending time with friends can sometimes feel like a chore and it’s not something that I am admitting publicly to be a bitch but mostly to explain my flakiness from the past. Hopefully in battling this fear I will also be able to figure out how to deal with how it manifest itself in my friendships and relationships.
I am sick of being handicapped by something that is “in my head” so here I am making my resolution of sorts as I begin this new year I will not let fear dictate my life. Moving forward I will try to battle these fears that I encounter daily and know that (for the most part) if something scares me then maybe I am in the right path. I will leave you with the following quote: 

"Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out."
                                                                 - Karl Augustus Menninger


Happy New Year, hope all your goals/resolutions/dreams come true in the coming year! 

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